oh my god. last night was a mess. i got so drunk and puked the whole night. Fortunately i was too heavy to be carried back to my room so they put me in my friend's room and i puked there. WUAHAHAHA. ok. sorry =PAnyway,i woke up about 1pm and decided not to go sing K. my throat was burning and so i just stayed in to rest in my room.
Then i started to read people's blog,friendster,facebook ( yijia loves this too. hahahaha. we always gossip after that and would be so surprised that we both are actually equally kepo)
but...i am now full of guilt.
Being a
med student.. is not as
easy as i thought it would be. Not that i used to think that it is
easy cheesy to cope with the studies but i thought i would still be able to live my normal life, or just a bit more hectic.
okay,
2nd year is taking hell lots out of me. All the seniors actually told us 2nd year is the toughest year and i sort of accepted it like few months ago..
have been mugging.. or when im not, ill be going out with friends here to de-stress after some tests or assignments.
little did i realize that i have not been keeping in touch with many friends. especially those who are in malaysia.
Jane got admitted into hospital for some not known reason.. and i didnt even know about that!
Jmin changed her hairstyle few times and i have to realize that thru friendster photos!
Sying and Jmin counted me in for the presents and cards knowing that i am busy though i wasnt there to contribute a single thing! Missed
Sying's call when she needs to talk to someone!
Have not been chatting with
Shufen Shyyi Cindy Lian for ages and they still come and wish me good luck for my exams, encourage me when im real stressed and down...but i dont even know when are their exams =(
Omg, i am such a lousy friend. We are so close whenever i go back to msia but i angry myself for not making the effort to keep in touch when i come back here T.T
i always tell myself..
it's okay they can understand,
it's okay they know i am busy with my studies,
it's okay we have got 4 hours time difference,
it's okay i can still contact them when i go back malaysia or when i am free.. but i never realized that i should be there when they need me and
not when i am free.
I blame
med school for taking up all my time,but it's my own fault i know.
even when i broke up with my ex, he said i never prioritized him, studies and family always come first before him. He said i always take him for granted and that i never appreciate what he had done for me..
Sometimes when
sying said she has not been talking with me for ages, i feel so sorry, she's my ji mui but how could i let that happened.. T.T I hardly talk to
poh yee too =( yichiann still alright cuz she always come put up at my place when she happened to come to auckie.
miss teo always managed to catch me online so she's alright with me.. but still, she would sometimes complain saying i have not talked to her for so long. i think
jmin can understand me cuz she's just like me, but yeah i shouldn't have take this as an excuse. and also
ming long.. he has been such a nice and patient friend to me but i always ffk him SORRY!
My mom and dad have been wanting to skype with me but mom knows i am busy with studies so she would rather call me everyday instead of asking me to webcam with her. and when i am stressed, i would be real
cold to her. WAHYAAAAAA,
sorry =( and now that i finished my exams, she said i should go shopping and have fun and that i can skype with her some other time..
I know i know.. i always
take things for granted. i.. really treasure you all.. but i am just.. haih,
useless? i wanted to say busy but i do realize that there's no such thing as
'no time' u make up ur own time, if u really want it, u can make it.
It is just me. everything is about me. i never care about how people feel, i care more about how i feel.
fking selfish.it was just 4 days ago, i feel so
blessed to have such a lovely family, to have known so many
nice friends here in auckie. and when i read
tobamates' blog, i am really happy to have a bunch of
cute hometown buddies. just when i thought my life is
beautiful though it's a bit hectic, i realized that i
have not done enough to deserve their love. I am savouring every seconds of my life now.. but i have never realized that my life is wonderful because i have them.. T.T
okay..maybe i think too much
(after exams got more time to think 'too much') ,
but.. but.. but.. i am really
sorry.. for not keeping my promises to call/text/keep in touch.. for not spending time enough with you guys, for not being caring and sensitive enough..
okay, i am
not emo okay, jz a lil bit angry at myself.. i do love you all, if only i had more time, i would definitely spending more time catching up with you all.
i will change! i try?
please do not leave me!haha.. okay la. nxt post will be happy i promise =)
yeshhh going out again now. tata =) 
