au(ra) of (in)dulgence.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

sarah: woo,very random 8:30:00 PM

sometimes.. i really hate u, for making me living in this world of mine all by myself.
..
for u breaking all the promises u made,
for u leaving me alone,
for u bringing me to heaven once and then pull me down,
for u being able to move on so quickly,
for u loving another gal now, as much as, or more than u loved me,
for u having her as ur first priority now,
for u making me the last to know about all these,
for u making me to come to believe that we could have future when in fact we're getting further and further apart.

haha. don worry. not an emo post.

after so long, after a year, i think i can now.. let go and move on =)

we finally talked again after so long. maybe u didnt know. even till the beginning of this year, i would still cry thinking about u, i would still re-read our chat box history and cried myself to sleep, i would still talk about u in front of my friends unconsciously.. we have been together for so long.. and i.. after so long, finally realize that.. the breakup wasn't that bad..

i just wanna write this down. bear with me.

i had done a lot of mistakes, i blamed myself, i regretted, and yeah.. that's the reason why i still cant get over you..

but.. i think our breakup has given u a happier life, and looking at what u done for me when we were together, i think u deserve the happiness now =)

i am sorry. but i am happy for u now. from the bottom of my heart.

u said i've grown up, u said u learnt alot from me too. trust me, that makes me happy. because at least i did have some good influences on ur latter life, haha.. not just the pain i gave when we're together.

now that it's all over, we can actually talk more comfortably. u share ur life with me, i share mine. suddenly i dont feel sad anymore.. i know it's time to let u go and live my life.

i kept emphasizing that i have moved on, but deep down inside me, i know i still hold on..pretty much dwell in the past. haha. nz no guy ma. what to expect?

u said u would still feel heartache if someday i told u i had got a bf.. and i came to realize that.. we actually have a different kind of friendship. u're not my friend, u're someone special. and i wanna thank you for taking real good care of me for the past 3 years.

i was once the happiest gal on d world, when u showered ur love all over me. i knew i was ur precious one. i knew i was ur first priority in life. that's enough. =) i knew i was once loved by you.

we'll be 'friends' forever yeah? i know we have no fate to be each other's last one. but im glad.. at a certain point in my life, i got to know you, loved by you. and now we can still talk to each other, like old friends ^^

thanks ba.

be happy =) me too, i will..

good nite!

ps: err, while reading this, plz listen to 'better in time' by leona lewis. hehe. wooooo i feel like im acting in drama like that =P

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