au(ra) of (in)dulgence.

Friday, January 29, 2010

2 11:34:00 PM

终于开始收拾了，
原来把衣物收拾好，离开喜欢的地方，竟然和，
把感情收拾好，离开喜欢的人，一样地，
令人想流着泪骂粗话。

行李收了四次，感情收了两次。

可还是第一次眼睛有问题，衰。

啊，可能是好事，哈，不能哭了!

那，明天还是去找艺嘉好了。

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Thursday, January 28, 2010

1 2:31:00 PM

read this blog of hers yesterday at jia's place. one question came to my mind.. like woah, long distance relationship really should never be considered huh? not kl-kt, kg.cina-kuala ibai, kuching-kl that kind of long distance. i mean it when i said it's long distance.. in different part of the world, where you cant reach without money, without 5-10 hours, without patience and determination. worse if these two are still undergraduate, need parents' assistance and support hence all the restriction. worst if these two are going towards two different directions.

oh no wait, if you both love each other deep enough, it's gonna work huh? Tell me you gonna love me even if im 12-hour-flight apart, even if you can oni hold my hands once a year and just for as long as 2 weeks the most, even if im gonna be busy as hell and you can oni talk to me at nite before i sleep with exhausted voice, even if i put family and studies before you, even if i sucks at being a gf.

it's not possible, i found one. On top of what i have listed above, this guy has all the caring and good-tempered personalities im looking for. and this girl in her blog, found her prince! But the distance and the parents has become the biggest obstacle in their relationship. but for me, distance is never the main problem, because.. ever since i was 18, i have never had a bf that can spend more than few months with me. HAHA 天煞孤星命！God wants me to stay focus when im studying i guess :/

but hey blaming on the Fate? why not yourself? suetli (www.sweatlee.blogspot.com) is having ldr with her bf, but she can manage it so well. okay i tell you, this is so gonna be one of my ambition. TO ever survive a ldr for 5 years! It wont happen anymore because i have 3 years left, unless if something happens and i get to stay there after yr 2012.

and booooo guess what, the more i write, the more i feel..like shit..
worst still i forgot what's the reason i started writing this post..

been having sore throat for ages, it's painful.. yeah i guess the pain comes from the throat. it has to be. it hurts quite alot. boo.

There are so many things i wanna say, but it hurts, the sore throat, so i guess that's it.

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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

jia said soon 11:53:00 PM

最讨厌这样了，
只可以放空或哭，
看不起自己！
去死吧

最讨厌忘不掉它，
一味想回到过去，
也去死吧

最讨厌回去了，
又一个人了！
去死吧！！！

最讨厌现在，
最不开心了=（

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Sunday, January 10, 2010

sarah 4:14:00 PM

幸好现在没人会来这里，

很希望没有人会读到这篇文章。

没有用的人，就是没有用。

从以前到现在，还是没有改变过。

一味地逃避，一味地害怕，一味地依赖。

也不知道可以怎么做。

大家都为你好的时候，该怎么选择？

好烦，哭也哭过了好几次，也没有用，对吧。

不知道何时才不必为了这种事而哭，真的很累了。

而且也快回去了，就因为这样更烦。

很不想在回去前，大家闹得不开心，可是我不会, 不会怎么两全其美。

好啦，不想写了

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