hii!
it's finally weekend, and i am actually still doing my report T_T this year (or rather this run,hopefully) started off not quite smoothly.
Hmm,4th year is the beginning of the nightmare, but it also marks the beginning of my new life. No more walking to lectures late, no more having coffee breaks between lectures, no more walking into class seeing all the familiar faces, no more singlets and jeans! It's simply indescribable. I am enjoying every bits of my clinical year, which can only be done after weeks of struggles. Dressing in formal wear everyday, wearing the not-so-comfortable formal shoes, walking for like almost 6 hours everyday, let me tell you, they arent easy. And oh, not to mention, coming home with an exhausted body, climbing up 4th floor by stairs, and... COOK!
haha! to be perfectly honest, I was so stressed out for the past few weeks it's not even funny. And all i wanted to do is to go home. Oh well..one thing im glad is i did not cry. I think it's about time i realize tears dont really help. And also no point complaining, because it's merely annoying. oh, and something happened in the beginning of the year which actually leave me no choice because there's no one i can talk to.
I started praying, complaining to God instead of friends, tearing in church instead of crying out loud to my friends. And how thankful i am that it actually helps! Everything started falling into places, and my friend once told me " IF you're able to pull through the difficult situation by yourself, you become stronger" yes, i couldnt agree more. All praise to the glory of God, I am now finally accustoming to this new life, and i am loving it more and more.
Working in the hospital does make me feel like i am an idiot and there's so much that i need to learn. But i am in the process of learning haha. so i guess that justifies my stupidity. It's very disappointing to find out how little you know about medicine, but at the same time, it keeps me going. Waking up 6am every morning just to realise you have another long day to go, a lot more things to learn. Trust me, as much as i hated waking up 6am every morning, it's really fun. I have always been a people person. I love talking to patients, and it's very rewarding to realize that what you have been learning thus far can make their life better. And how exciting it is to prick the needle into a real patient's hand knowing that you're not doing this like how you would do to your friend out of interest/fun but to help them. Everything seems so right and magically wonderful =) you know now every words you utter matters so much to them, and the trust they place on you is incredible.
Ahhhh =) despite how hard it started, i know it's getting better. It wasnt easy but i've learned so much. I guess this is how people grow up. To learn how to always look at the better side of the world, to learn how to appreciate every moments in life, to learn how to love what you have and accept what you cant have, and last but not least, to learn how to keep learning while you can.
