Don't you realise, as you grow up and are exposed to many different kinds of environment, the more judgmental people you will meet?
It's such an irony growing old usually comes with growing up, but you will realise when people age, they tend to be more judgmental than ever.
It's human nature that they judge. And make assumption.
They see a person with horrible grades, they assume that that person isn't working hard enough or isn't serious about his own life.
They assume people who have different religion from them are going down the wrong path and go straight to hell.
They see ugly fat girl, they assume that she must be desperate in finding a boyfriend.
They see a hot chick dating a nerd, they assume that the chick is only with that guy for some other purposes.
They judge newly attached person will not value their friendship anymore.
They judge people who don't study overseas will not be more successful in life than them.
They assume ugly nerdy people will always be virgin.
They assume third party in a relationship is always the evil one.
They judge that people who start a new relationship soon after ending the old one isn't really serious for any of them at all.
Just last week, someone totally widened my horizon again about the extend of how judgmental a person can be. We were talking about random stuff and she suddenly said "I know I may sound evil to say this, but I'm lucky that I'm a bio (she didn't really say bio but I don't wanna be too specific =p) student"
then all of us asked why?
She said she is surprised how some people will think panadol can cure everything. Luckily she isn't one of them.
I said "so... are you saying, you feel lucky that you study bio so you are as stupid as them?"
"... yea sort of"
then it just occurred to me that this is a whole new level of being judgmental. Just because some people don't know which drug to buy for which condition, it doesn't mean that they are stupid or ignorant or "unlucky". How can one despise another person just because he has a more superior knowledge in that area? Aren't we supposed to be happy that we can be part of the public education to help them, not secretly think they are dumb and feel grateful we aren't one of them?
I replied, "if you are thinking like this, I'm sure other professions will see you the same way too. Engineers might think how stupid you are because you don't understand basic physics, accountants and business students might don't understand why you can't manage your own finance and do your own account"
even prettier hotter chick might just don't understand how plain jane can survive without much admiration and fashion sense.
I admit that I do judge as well, especially for relationship issue. I despise people who cheat, no matter what happened, one can never cheat. I heard of a true story where a guy goes sleeping around in perth where his gf is waiting for him (I'm not sure how loyal she is though) in Malaysia. The girlfriend will never know what he is doing here but I do really feel sorry for her. The guy still proudly goes around telling others how sexually active and successful he is here. Sigh. This kind of guy, I despise him. I judge him for not having moral values in a relationship, for not having dignity, for being selfish. I don't know the inside story of their relationship but it still disgust me the fact that the guy is very proud to tell everyone he cheats on the gf.
I hope that the girlfriend knows it one day. Or maybe is doing the same to him. haha evil me.
But yea this world is getting messed up that loyalty isn't a basic rule to maintain a relationship anymore. I refuse to be one of them.
I don't know what's the point of writing this, maybe just to remind myself and whoever reading this. Judge less.
You will never know how many precious friendships you can save by judging less. We all make mistakes, best friend will always be by your side no matter how many mistakes you have made in your life.
And I'm happy to have us, Sarah and I, no matter how far we are apart, how many terrible things we did and we confessed to each other about it, the other party will just listen patiently, give constructive advice and honest opinion but never judge (ok maybe we did lah, but once in a million times). This friendship assures me that when the whole world is turning me down, there will be one person who will guide me to do the right thing and support me.
i love you sarah. haha so random.
Labels: 1+, lalala-ish random
