have u ever had a feeling that u r stuck in a life that u dislike?
like literally stuck in the middle of nowhere and u can't do anything about it except to go forward to pass this phase, alone, by urself
n u're so afraid to share this piece of feeling of urs to anyone because nobody will understand
not even those who u thought u can count on to
every morning u will wake up and think "ahhh not again" and when u successfully dread (such irony) the whole day away, it's time for u to go to bed for another unwanted day.
seriously, this sem has been giving me nothing but multiple mental breakdown and countless stress and pressure.
Pek Kong, why didn't you wait for me. Just another month I'll be home to fullfill the promise I made, for myself and for you. To spend more time with you, to be by your side to go through the pain.
Just the thought of this has torn my heart apart. How long will it take to put them back in one piece?
I love you, whole heartedly.
No matter where you are now, you will always be in my mind, cross my heart.
If the saying
"God will never give you anything you can’t handle."
It's heart breaking yet interesting to learn that homo sapiens have extraordinary adaptive ability.
believe it or not, we can actually live without anyone.
when people, who really matter, leave us, we cry, we break down, we curse, we howl for maybe 230947384 days. and then we get better and life goes on.
people and things around us evolve too fast sometimes you don't even know what and who to believe in, anymore.
when's the last time you get fascinated by bubbles floating in the air?
I think my character has become so diluted that sometimes i don't even get me anymore. - chelseaorange
oh btw, I'm back in Perth T___T (from Canberra, Gold Coast, Brisbane and Adelaide for 2 weeks btw) finally back to my warm cosy bed and own comfort zone and loneliness too =(
believe it or not, I actually find Adelaide, where everyone claims as a kampung, is a more enjoyable part of the trip compared to Gold Coast, the famous tourist spots with 5 mega theme parks. I thought I'm the only one who has this different weird opinion because I have my good friend there until I found out that Ling Weng and Yee Fang feel the same =)
I guess it's the company that matters, afterall. No matter how fun and interesting a place is, once u go with the wrong companion, everything can go wrong. And vice versa.
I guess people who haven't been to Adelaide and Perth should stop telling others Adelaide is like terengganu, Perth is like Kuantan. It really makes them sound very idiotic for making assumptions out loud before they even take effort to verify the so-called statement.
Let me, the wise budget traveller (a term created during the trip, haha) tell u where's fun and where's not.
Melbourne is the best of all, Sydney is more to KL-hustle-and-bustle-city alike, Canberra is a small peaceful town with gloomy weather and buildings during winter, Brisbane is a crowded city with LOADS of hills that taking a bus is like taking a mild roller coaster, Gold Coast is the right place for excitement and laughters only with the right people, Adelaide is not as small as what everyone thinks, at least I had so much fun there, Perth has many places of interest too, but only accessible via private cars or long journey of public transport
well that still depends on individual's liking. coz apparently Sarah loves Sydney more than Melbourne, but then I shouldn't really take her opinion into account as she proudly claims that others think Sydney is a smaller version of Auckland. Hah, the biggest joke of the year. I don't think there's any city in New Zealand is any bigger than Sydney (and this opinion is made based on experience and observation).
Hahndroff, a small magical german village 45mins bus ride away from adelaide city.
This morning, I woke up at 5.30am to welcome a friend's mom and her friend at the airport. We then had breakfast at Farrel's, which serves BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST hoho my fav! I had 3 american breakfasts in 2 weeks time, ahhh the bliss~~ The crispy bacon, fried egg, hash brown, pancakes, sausages plus a glass of fresh orange juice. Having a breakfast like this, you just have the feeling that you will enjoy the rest of the day =D
Oh I was actually trying to say, my friend's mom's friend is from terengganu! This world is so small it started to freak me out. At first I thought aunty is siong yong's mom when she mentioned about him. AND THEN only I realised she's leena's mom. What a small small world. (and when I'm typing this, I saw siong yong's msn signing in how creepy is the coincidence omg). I feel so homely when aunty and I talked about kt.
Homesicknessssss.
my sis and my fav house maid! who's leaving for good, very soon T__T
Btw, special thanks to all the hosts in Canberra, Brisbane and Adelaide who offered accommodation and took the time and effort to bring us around! even when I hardly know some of you back in Intec.
Canberra: Sze Huey, Yeam, Shereen Brisbane: Jess, Peifei and friends, Ee li, June, Kimber, Wai Hong, Jun Hong Adelaide: my Chui Chui, Weina, Adeline, class rep aka xiao shan (and by that I forget his real name hahaha), Doreen, Ah Heng, Chien Yen.
*if I accidentally leave anyone's name out, please do let me know!
please do come to perth so that I can be an interesting, responsible and caring host for once! Chui Shin, Weina and Adeline are coming this dec, omg I'm starting to get nervous where to bring them, what to recommend, will they like it here omg omg.
Photos will be up once I got them. Since I still have 3 weeks holidays with zero plan, I guess I have no excuse not to blog about my trip, unlike last year! only 2 posts for 3 weeks vacation in new zealand can die.
a quick update about my lost neoprints (I don't care if you're not interested blek)
just had my mid-sem test and submitted assignment, so today I went to the mall to try my luck.
wanted to go back to all the shops that I went last week, hoping that they might keep my neoprints if I really happened to drop them there *fingers crossed*
so I went to this handcraft shop, alone, because my housemate was late.
I showed the staff the only neoprints left, and said
"I came here last week for a mask, think I might drop a whole pack of these here, a pack of photo stickers. Did you happen to see them?"
"Oh the photos! It's in a plastic bag right? A whole stack of it"
*bright eyes* "YES YES! Those are mine, I was so worried when I realised they weren't in my purse anymore."
"I.. I think I had thrown them away"
...
...
...
...
...
...
Seeing me spell bound, she explained, "I kept that for a week, so I thought nobody wants it after so long, so I threw them away"
".I had a test yesterday so I was busy.. but... It's okay then, nevermind"
"It might be in this bin *pointing a big bin behind her* I can try to find it if you want"
"oh lemme do it" I walked towards the bin.
Another lady came out, saying that she just cleared the bin a few days ago so the photo stickers won't be there. and she said she's very sure about it.
left the shop with loads of it'sokays and nvms when it's not okay at all.
haih. She threw them away. but what can I do?
moral of the story?
go look for the stuff you lost as soon as you realise it. if you can't, just don't try at all. because the outcome may be more disappointing than giving up earlier.
It's an audio clip from astro customer service. An indian lady (gosh did I just lady instead of monkey?) called to complain about her astro obviously and deng! the war begins.
sometimes people can be so uncivilised just for tv shows. I shall not use the word "blooody" anymore okay I promise!
I think.. I just lost my photo stickers/neoprints/whatever you wanna call it.
all of them.
ALLLL, as in the one I took with my best mate chui shin before stepping out of malaysia for a new journey of my life;
with my oz friends when I was amazingly bloated;
with my ex school mates who are now scattered all over the world where I think that's the only time we are willing to squeeze into the small booth and camwhore together;
with the 3 gals in my life who form the group 8linai with me =.=;
with hometown friends who are never in the same school with me;
with my sister and mom;
with sying where we accidentally clicked the wrong button and it turns out like a passport photo;
with akasia 1515 hommies which we took in a rush;
with my beloved intecian buddies where chao tung looks terribly funny as if he saw ghost or something;
and..
the one taken in Auckland with Aucky peeps (duh..), although the quality is real bad, our expressions are so uniform and funny;
taken in Welly with the hotties and 2 ma lat lous, I really love those ones we really look very nice in it!
the one and only one taken with another contributor of this blog, you know who, which I treasure very much despite the fact we look fugly in ALL of them due to our jakun-ness in handling a neoprint machine haih, then we immediately cut and divide the neoprint as fast as we could before others could see them haha.
the thing is..
I bought a new purse last week, and happily transferring them into the new glamorous purse. I think they must have somehow slipped out when I was trying to get some pennies out of my purse a few days ago in the mall, to buy birthday cake for my housemate? to buy iced choc from gloria jeans? to buy my lunch? to buy fruits to cook desserts? to buy material for designing a mask?
I totally have no idea.
I just realised their heart-breaking absence last night at 2, when I was so sick of mugging for thurs' test, and thought of taking them out to have a look.
it was such a wrong time to discover such sad tragedy because there was nobody to talk to. After searching the entire room, I started to get panic. When I heard someone's opening her door, I went out and looked at my housemate and told her I've lost my photo stickers. *sobs*
she looked at me, with toothbrush in her mouth, stunned for a few secs, and asked, "err.. photo stickers? important?"
then I knew I was talking to the wrong person.
those are NOT JUST photo stickers!! those were evidence of remarkable memories I once had with all my love ones. sigh.
but of coz she cannot be blamed, who would expect to see her housemate coming to her in the middle of night with such a pale look, because of err.. photo stickers?
I couldn't study anymore I forced myself to bed. but as expected I couldn't sleep as well. feeling tense with things coming up this week and the series of unfortunate events that NEVER stop happening WTFwtfbbqwtf.
and I think I have left lysozyme on my pillow cover.
And I suddenly came to understand that when any problem occurs, we need to find some way to express it, one way or another, preferably someone to talk to, then everything will seem to be okay.
On the other hand, a very small incident like such can be amplified into a big one.. if you can't find the right way to let it out.
when I faced the biggest failure in my life, which I happened to know it in Auckland, I couldn't stop crying profusely for hours, no kidding I think big eyes come with richly supplied lacrimal gland hahahaha.
But because of a gal who just turns 21 a few days ago, who hugged me whenever tears running down my cheeks, cooked me maggie, telling the same thing over and over again just to encourage me, and also Boon Roger Xtine Chaotung Yeefang who occupied me with loads of jokes and fun all the time, I felt better within days, even before leaving Auckland. Even though I know I have to face the problem anyway by myself, I have the motivation and courage, surprisingly.
and now those were just photo stickers I feel deflated.
I told another friend this morning, her first reaction was how about the one we took in blablabla, I said yea it's lost too, she scolded me babi, how could u lose it! without a second thought.
aih. if you think I'm exaggerating, you can prolly stop reading, seriously. I dont really now y I'm writing such boring post, just feel like shouting it out.
whatever, it's my blog anyway blah.
this picture has no direct relation with this post, this blog and the bloggers.
let's take neoprints again, okay peeps? Please say yes pleaseeee *insert humongous innocent eyes*
whoever find my neoprints, I'll give a naked photo of Sarah as reward! WOOOOOO no I'm not serious you fool.
okay I promise I'll post something more interesting once my test is over AND I feel better okay? interesting like.. masquerade I attended last week?
meanwhile, clickhere to read a different version of this blog. u'll lurve it =) warning: heavy vulgar language involved.
im here to make a few announcements (initially it was only ONE announcement but i know i'll write more than that i might as well say "a few" =.=)
1. from now on (after this post of coz) im supposed to/going to disappear from blogosphere until the day im legal to do anything i wan woot~~! okay the fact is im having 4 final papers in 2 weeks, starting next week, which ends on my own bday am i supposed to feel happy? or not? hmm..
2. dysmenorrhea + exam stress overdose + good food deficiency = dementor moment! i bet anyone who's constantly reading my blog will know what i mean but i don mind saying it again coz i feel like ranting.
u see dementor moment is when u feel so hopeless and emo and bored and down and stress and void but there's noone bother to talk to, to hug, to lend u shoulder to lean on, to listen to ur rants, to cook u good food, to crack joke to cheer u up, to tell u everything'll be fine. it's so pathetic sometimes u even give up in making urself happy. owel im in bloody perth what shld i expect haih.
sarah where r u? can u like.. come here for 2 weeks? T__T
okay enough of that. rant will not bring any good.
3. i freaking missed the perth time freeze! i totally forgot it was on last 31st may that i was still sleeping like a log in my warm cosy bed at 11am. and i remember vividly that it was raining cats and dogs for the whole day and what worried me was only how im gonna go for grocery shopping haha so housewife-ish already! the wind was really strong too i could see trees in front of my house dancing like sarah, as in no direction one lah haha.
but they MADE IT! under such harsh condition they managed to freeze themselves under the rain. i think it would've been so much better if they make it an indoor thing. anyway here's the video for u guys. it was in perth city where i always go shopping and got caught once for jay walking =.=
4. im so in lurve with a song now! and it's a chinese song for god's sake i haven been in love with chinese song for 39843874 years coz besides jay chow, lee hom, a-mei and sun yan zi, other so-called singer's voice sound the same to me =.=
Be Your Superman, by 純表演.
it's not a new song anyway, it's one of the ost for they kiss again (aka it started with a kiss 2). the lyrics are just okay but the guy's voice is sexy to the max my heart will melt if a guy sings this song to propose awwww~~~
I'm back. no I shall not use the word "back" because this is not home.
I'm here. in Perth.
I slept quite early last night and missed quite a numba of texts and calls from ppl who care loads about me =)
Got them again this morning, and it really makes me happy u know!
I slept again in the plane for hours that I didn't watch a proper movie at all! That was so not me.
So I reached here at 5-ish, got key, ate simple-to-dead dinner, tried to unpack but in d end I didnt, and I'm here now, sitting in front of a laggy lappie.
Feeling really dizzy now.
So sien la when I saw woolworths, myer, transperth buses, single-storey houses with no fences on my way back from airport, I was like "cb la this place" altho they are quite innocent la I know. It's just that no more 1u, mamak stalls, incredible numba of sang kancils and sagas, big buildings with lotsa lights. And also ppl who can really have fun with me and care about me.
.jpg)